Rules of Etiquette When Driving Near Baltimore

You are driving down the highway and see the Welcome to Maryland sign. You wonder, what should I expect when driving on Maryland roads?

Without further ado, here are the "Rules of Etiquette" when you are driving near Baltimore:

#1 Turn signals are so 1990's. Why use 'em?

#2 You should drive at least 20 miles over the speed limit at all times. If not, you're fair game.

#3 When making left hand turns, get into the middle of the intersection and angle towards opposing traffic. If the light turns red, floor it!

#4 Drive as close to the bumper in front of you as possible. Everyone needs a little nudge of motivation to get moving.

#5 Pay no attention to what you learned in Kindergarten about staying within the lines.

#6 If the person in front of you doesn't merge into heavy traffic, honk at them and make wild gestures. Then proceed to swerve around their vehicle.

#7 If it's raining, pray for snow.  People drive much better in the snow than they do in the rain.

#8 If you see a School Bus with their stop sign out, go around them. The kids are dropped off on the other side at the curb anyway.

#9 One-way signs are merely a suggestion.

#10 When you hear sirens or see flashing lights, hit the gas and avoid the pokey.

Welcome to Maryland: Drive at your own risk.

(These rules of etiquette are not endorsed by the Attic Girl. )

10 comments on "Rules of Etiquette When Driving Near Baltimore"
  1. LOL!! I'm pretty sure New Jersey shares these Rules of Etiquette. =P

  2. You are so funny! I feel the same way with RI driving. YOu should link this up to my Saturday laughs:)

  3. lol wow that sounds like to much fun for me to handle.lol

  4. rotfl, that sounds like Atlanta too!

  5. Ha ha! This is so funny! Thanks for sharing!

  6. lol, Ok. I know to not drive through there.

  7. Oh geez! I've never been to Maryland, but now I'll be sure to know how to drive if I ever get there! :)

  8. So can I ask where you're from, that perfect drivers exist?

  9. If you think Maryland is bad, you should probably stay away from the entire state of Pennsylvania as well.


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