3/15/12

Rules of Etiquette When Driving Near Baltimore

You are driving down the highway and see the Welcome to Maryland sign. You wonder, what should I expect when driving on Maryland roads?


Without further ado, here are the "Rules of Etiquette" when you are driving near Baltimore:








#1 Turn signals are so 1990's. Why use 'em?




#2 You should drive at least 20 miles over the speed limit at all times. If not, you're fair game.




#3 When making left hand turns, get into the middle of the intersection and angle towards opposing traffic. If the light turns red, floor it!




#4 Drive as close to the bumper in front of you as possible. Everyone needs a little nudge of motivation to get moving.




#5 Pay no attention to what you learned in Kindergarten about staying within the lines.




#6 If the person in front of you doesn't merge into heavy traffic, honk at them and make wild gestures. Then proceed to swerve around their vehicle.




#7 If it's raining, pray for snow.  People drive much better in the snow than they do in the rain.




#8 If you see a School Bus with their stop sign out, go around them. The kids are dropped off on the other side at the curb anyway.




#9 One-way signs are merely a suggestion.




#10 When you hear sirens or see flashing lights, hit the gas and avoid the pokey.




Welcome to Maryland: Drive at your own risk.


(These rules of etiquette are not endorsed by the Attic Girl. )


10 comments:

Trisha said...

LOL!! I'm pretty sure New Jersey shares these Rules of Etiquette. =P

LOVE MELISSA:) said...

You are so funny! I feel the same way with RI driving. YOu should link this up to my Saturday laughs:)

Mellissa Hanks said...

lol wow that sounds like to much fun for me to handle.lol

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

rotfl, that sounds like Atlanta too!

Julie said...

Ha ha! This is so funny! Thanks for sharing!

Michelle said...

FUNNY!! And so true!!!

Kelley @ Kelley's Passion for Nutrition said...

lol, Ok. I know to not drive through there.

Xenia said...

Oh geez! I've never been to Maryland, but now I'll be sure to know how to drive if I ever get there! :)

Sarah said...

So can I ask where you're from, that perfect drivers exist?

Anonymous said...

If you think Maryland is bad, you should probably stay away from the entire state of Pennsylvania as well.

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